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Demented publishing cash-in of the year #1

Demented publishing cash-in of the year #1

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A rumour has just reached my ears that once again Jane Austen's well-loved tome 'Pride and Prejudice' has fallen in the clutches of those intending to add a new spin to a classic. We've have the Choose Your Own adventure spin-off, and the Relationship Guide. TV gave us the excellent 'Lost in Austen' to cover the self-insert genre. Now we have...
Jane Austen and the Living Dead
It could well be a hoax, but there is apparently a forthcoming title called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies which will feature Jane Austen's original text with additional scenes in which Elizabeth fends off hordes of the undead. The part of my sense of humour that tends to make more sane people weep really, really wants this to be true. Though I don't know how it matches up to my imagination. I mean, I can just picture the scenes

“If these creatures are indeed after brains then they will surely pass over your mother and sisters in favour of better offerings.”

“Mr Darcy!”

“Miss Bennett” he countered with equal vehemence. “According to your very words on your arrival here at Netherfield, there are currently hordes of the undead roaming the fields between here and your family. Going out there will serve no purpose.”

Elizabeth glared at Mr Darcy in outrage. “Sir, I have an obligation to my family. And need I remind you that I was more than able to outrun those creatures while making my way here to Jane?”

“Indeed your cheeks were brightened by the exercise,” he mumbled distractedly, crossing to one of the full-length windows that ran down the entire west side of the room. “But may I draw your attention to the grounds for a moment?”

Doing her best to keep her temper from showing too much on her face, Elizabeth crossed over to where Darcy stood. More concerned at first with making sure Darcy noticed the deliberate distance kept between the two of them, it took Elizabeth a while to fully process what she was seeing. “Oh my,” she said in rather more subdued tones. “There are certainly more of them than before.”

“Indeed,” drawled Darcy.

Looking closer Elizabeth felt a jolt of recognition as she stared at one shambling form near the front. “Oh!” she gasped in utter horror. “It’s Mr Collins!” Truly, Elizabeth hadn’t thought that anything could make the man a more odious prospect, but fate seemed happy to prove her wrong. Necrosis was probably the only thing more vile than Mr Collins’ normal complexion. Still, it was one way of getting out of an engagement, she supposed.

You know what? I would pay up to read zombies crashing the Netherfield ball.
  • You know, I love the snippet to the point of being willing to pay for more, so I'm obviously just as strange. *pets it*

    Oh, and hi! Random person who came here to fic stalk and ended up staying because of interesting posts here. *waves*
    • There's just something about the concept, isn't there? It's just so easy to instantly picture those well-loved scenes with a completely different context. For example, Elizabeth's dismissal of Darcy's proposal where she spits out the equivalent of 'not if you were the last man alive' suddenly takes a whole different slant. I see him turning haughtily and replying 'Another two weeks madame and I may just be!'

      And welcome!
  • The only thing that would make that rumour any cooler is the tie-in first person shooter video game. Players must successfully survive the horrors of tea parties and social functions in order to unlock various weapons more effective than a dainty slipper.

    Admit it. You're a little gutted you didn't there first aren't you? Still, as I recall, the 'to-do' writing list is fairly involved at the moment, encompassing Undone, Body Language and various scriptoids for me to name but a few. I would pay to read some of those. ;)

    (Did you catch my subtle hint? WRITE MORE!)
    • Well the concept that I was explaining to you yesterday suddenly grew into a monster. The cast list has grown (sorcerers! Lit students! LARPers!), as has the complexity of the novel (though still no elves thankfully). FFP never gave me this much trouble - but I feel more sympathy for Blake now. But oh my god, I'm loving the plot. I have no idea what part of my mind spawned it as it's beyond mental, but I love it.

      And the sequel to Possession has had another whacking great chunk added. But Tierce gets very upset at the concept of Brize having a dayjob or any other function as a way of making Tierce feel guilty so I keep having to pause the action to slap the little bugger.

      • I'm going to be home for one night only this week. What's the odds of me getting a sneaky peek?

        Seeing as I'm braving blizzards and more for this. (I'll be chain rolling for most of the day in preparation!)
  • Zombie!Mr Collins FTW! :D

    Funnily enough, I just finished reading 'The Independance of Miss Mary Bennet' last night. Zombies would have been just that extra touch to make the whole thing cracktastically fabulous.
    • Zombies would make any work of literature instantly fabulous. I can't work out why no one has thought of this before. It seems like a criminal waste.

      Incidentally, I am so glad to not be alone in this opinion.
  • That is––that is so many kinds of amazing.

    I hope this rumor is true! It would be like the very essence of the internet was wrapped up in a nice dustjacket!
  • Hehe, check out this ISBN on amazon 9781594743344.
  • I saw this in a bookstore the other day... and I thought of you. I almost bought it, but restrained myself.

    I thought it was just a joke... when I saw it was real I almost died laughing.
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